Thursday, March 19, 2015

Portland's "hot weather" has arrived.

Portland's "hot weather" has arrived.
 I'm not talking temperature somuch, Portland has a phenomenon where folks with bitchin bods (that they worked on all winter) come out in droves on the first nice days and create an epic driving distraction.
 I love living in a town full of confident, happy, healthy, half naked specimens running around but the hazard is real. Road danger quickly felt by tall biking clowns. 
Don't get me wrong, it's a human triumph to have a population so in shape and fine looking that even Grandmas "get some"; but if I see a hottie of any stripe trundling down the sidewalk, my first reaction is "Who else sees this? and are they gonna careen into anyone else." AKA Hot weather.
 Over many years we have learned to yield to out of state plates more for this reason. 
Most locals don't seem to notice. In fact it's a tell that they are from around here; that and standing around in the rain drinking beer.
 Note to the fella's: The sexiest thing you can comment to a lady (you don't know) about her appearance...is nothing.

Guilty Olive party.

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Sorry I forgot your birthday song.