Monday, March 30, 2015

Going down the road we hear "Hey Olive and Dingo, come join us!" and without checking to even see who they are we joined them.

 Good move, it came with free Tshirts! It was a ride touring the billboards for The Pedal Powered Talk show. Good times. We had time to go with them through the neighborhood to the next billboard location. Friends were already there with BBQ bikes and vittles to share. I love that it's so easy to find something to do in Puddle town. All ya gotta do is step out the door and put your nose in something. Good luck P.P.T.S. !

Saturday, March 28, 2015

I walked into a cafe before Olive.

 Two lil dudes standing there, one knows me, the other looks at me like I'm exactly what I am A giant real live toon. His buddy let's him off the hook, "Oh that's Dingo,...he knows Santa.". I was dying laughing, I never knew I had North Pole cred.

Just finished "Angler 6" (acrylic on canvas $200 36" X 36")

Friday, March 27, 2015

We were rolling down Powell blvd. when a nice lady popped out of her house. "Wait!!!" She introduced herself and told us...

We were rolling down Powell blvd. when a nice lady popped out of her house. "Wait!!!" She introduced herself and told us...
Posted by Olive Rootbeer and Dingo Productions on Friday, March 27, 2015

Monday, March 23, 2015

Panties in a bunch

We were taking an evening stroll with our little boy.  We noticed one of the local pot clinics has closed. 
Suddenly Olive looked at the window and burst out laughing "someone was so upset they must have literally got their panties in a wad over it.

like what we do?

Thursday, March 19, 2015

Portland's "hot weather" has arrived.

Portland's "hot weather" has arrived.
 I'm not talking temperature somuch, Portland has a phenomenon where folks with bitchin bods (that they worked on all winter) come out in droves on the first nice days and create an epic driving distraction.
 I love living in a town full of confident, happy, healthy, half naked specimens running around but the hazard is real. Road danger quickly felt by tall biking clowns. 
Don't get me wrong, it's a human triumph to have a population so in shape and fine looking that even Grandmas "get some"; but if I see a hottie of any stripe trundling down the sidewalk, my first reaction is "Who else sees this? and are they gonna careen into anyone else." AKA Hot weather.
 Over many years we have learned to yield to out of state plates more for this reason. 
Most locals don't seem to notice. In fact it's a tell that they are from around here; that and standing around in the rain drinking beer.
 Note to the fella's: The sexiest thing you can comment to a lady (you don't know) about her nothing.

Guilty Olive party.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

I was at a burrito truck while Olive was in Village Merchants​ thinking global and shopping local. A little kid I recognized ran up to me. "You are Dingo right? You played my party". I shook her hand and asked where her Mom is and what is she up to. Then she said a phrase that floored me. "I'm busking!". She told me the story of how she wants a pet mouse, her folks told her she had to earn the cash herself. She already made all the bedding but still needed to huck up some scratch to buy the actual rodent. I sat with my food and noticed her Dad watching her from a little way off. I was delighted to hear her stick a pretty good version of B.Marly "Don't worry". I quickly gave her enough for two mice. The pet store is across the street. The way she was selling it, I was starting to think I may need a mouse. Back at the burrito truck the proprietor smiled to hear what was up. She told me it's hard for kids to know how difficult it is to make cash; real hard when it's always just given to them. She didn't have to tell me that. All my money comes from a tip jar as well. Good job kiddo.

Monday, March 09, 2015

Links I'm lookin at this week

planetary health bizzness

Easy answers

Great music for game night

new Bugle podcast is up.

List of folks who needed a suicide watch

a Portland blog

Olive Rootbeer sticker

My favorite  kind of photography

Olive asked if i wanted anything from the grocery store.

 Somehow "Fruitloops" fell out of my face. Later I was surprised when she produced one box of genuine over-processed milk candy. No idea why I asked for it, but not to let food coloring that so many red beetles gave their lives for go to waste, I decided just to eat the entire box in one sitting to time my G.I. tract.
I got the idea watching some French guys pouring dye in a glacial melt off to track where it comes out far below.
They used specialty water marking dye, I used cornmeal, sugar wax and food coloring.

better weather is back!

Saturday, March 07, 2015

Hey,gotta Georgia state quarter?

Ever wonder why the top left corner is cut off? That's Dade county. Before the Civil War Dade got "sick and tard of Georgia's Shillyin and shallyin" about seceding so they seceded from Georgia their damn selves. It didn't help that there is a canyon betwixt Dade and the rest of the state so you had to go through other states just to get to Georgia back then. They took it personal about not being included in the big quarter party but this clown suspects they used antiquated maps and the guva-mint being the gova-mint just didn't catch it. Now you know the one part of the U.S.A. that isn't on a quarter. smile emoticon

Friday, March 06, 2015

Ever wonder what the last play Abraham Lincoln ever saw was about?

 Here it is. We should do it. I wonder if it was good or bad for the theater group to be upstaged so. A cool thing about this play is that it's the first time a woman was allowed to be stage manager and have a genuine career. Before that, show biz was run by the sausage party.

President Carter

Never fired a shot while president. That wasn't weak, it is strength. J.C. was the only prez I ever loved. As a 3rd and 4th grader, (when not into Mad mag, Nat Geo, Penthouse and pop mechanics) I was all about Time and Newsweek and other publications and programs. Peace just broke out all around this guy; like a real life Andy Griffith. He always had 50 other solutions to world conflict rather than one crude one. The others mostly stir the hornets nest and tend to side with what's good for the military industrial complex. I liked President Carter not just because he actually cared about the entire world, not just because he keeps serving his country to this day...I also dig him because he shut the air con off the first day in the White house and served cookies and tea at meetings rather than lavish banquets. He wasn't hip to wasting the people's money on fat cats...and that really made them grumpy. I still remember all that going down so many years ago.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Went to Trade up music on Division street yesterday to replace our stolen mic stand.

Guess who was rocking my favorite O&D shirt? Chris Uchytil!! and he set us up with a sweet mic stand. 
He was waiting for kids to recognize us on his shirt so he could remove his shades and scare the bejeezus out of them with his bloody eyeball condition.
b.t.w. I spotted this nice guitar in the cheap bin if anyone needs a pretty good non electric gut-string.

meme sent to my Facebook page.

Sunday, February 22, 2015


For the last few months I have been writing a book. I don't mean it to be funny but I'm a ridiculous man informed by ridiculous life experiences. It's got it's default funny moments. Call it a text-ish book. It was of particular concern to me when I used the term "Flying buttresses" in an entirely not funny context. I'm into the accuracy enough that I don't feel like I lost a great opportunity to crack a fart joke.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

I almost mailed a coffee gift out of town.

 Then i remembered I would do better to send some water instead. Coffee isn't grown in the Pacific NW, clean water is. We have perfect weather and water for coffee enjoyment. People here are very willing to protect the local h2o at every turn. Anyone who doesn't think that is important is welcome to go other places where the coffee tastes like parking lot puddle water.

Monday, February 16, 2015


There has never been porn on my computer and the only game downloaded was Microsoft solitaire. I was enjoying bug free computing until I stupidly decided to download a font. Guess what happened, spam wham-o-rama. Pop ups on pop ups, ads scattered like pinata candy, blinking, flashing and taxing the system from a Samurai into a simpleton. A funny thing is, when you get sick you become an expert at your sickness, I just took it as a challenge. I did some research, found infected zones and dove into line after line deleting cryptic text in the registry. I learned a lot but still opted to reboot the whole system. It only took a scant 16 hours to fully return to No-malwareistan.

Earth day tabling

Rich was telling me a fascinating story about an event where the voluntary human extinction people were tabling across from a midwifery clinic's table. He mentioned being pleased that two groups who would seem to be opposites were actually friendly to one another and ended up sending folks to each other's tables. I hope I got that story right Rich Mackin. I love stuff like that.
"It was a collection of small businesses and non-profits tabling at an event. Imagine Operation Rescue tabling an event across from Planned Parenthood, or simply conservative Republicans across from Liberal Democrats."

I been monkeying with the ad-bots that look at my web browsing to base what ads to throw at me.

 I have them convinced that I'm a HUGE fan of square watermelons, peacock feathers and industrial axle grease. Now they keep trying to sell me this stuff... and it's a continuing punchline. Hope they don't think I plan to use them all in the same sitting (or any sitting actually).

Monday, February 09, 2015

kiosk life

Sometimes i feel like a kiosk. It's cute, it's clever, it's an honor, it's expected...but it's also kind of annoying sometimes.
When I walk around in clown drag i often forget how i look.
We only see past our nose so when going from point A to point B it's startling to be called as a representative of the city.
People assume I have a proprietary roll in an environment they find me in.
They also often assume I'm a volunteer goodwill emissary. LOL I like making a difference but sometimes I'm just on my way to work and need all that commute time to get me act together. I forget I look like I love answering questions.
 I often have to tell folks "Beats me, I don't work here".
 Kind of like how people feel they can come up to the police, bus drivers and other civic workers, they come to us too.
"Hey Clown" as it goes...
" Hey clown, would you-
... tell me where Belmont street is?
...tell me everything I want to know about you and nothing I don't want to know?
....recommend a place to get lunch?
....look at this mole for me?
I would love to help but last I checked Tiffiny Adamson is the only person I know with sufficient cred to call me by the objectifying moniker "clown".
Anyone else takes a huge chance (like an ox in a tar pit) of getting hilariously buried in bad information from me (can't say you didn't know I was a clown).

Tuesday, January 27, 2015


My friend several doors away is having drama. She came over bawling, Rootbeer made her some tea and i told her some great comeback lines for her fight...only I'm not confident that she is going follow my instructions to the letter. If she fumbles the meaning it could lose her the fight. She mumbles, I pontificate. Would it be rude to ask a stranger to listen on the phone while a clown injects some devastating arguments but only as an impartial, indifferent, non-combatant vessel for diction, timing, dramatic pause, gesticulation and context? I wish she had an ear piece.

Friday, January 23, 2015

It started out as a conversation about hot sauce.

We were talking about how I  turned a corner about hot sauce after trying my friend Shane's Ghost Pepper sauce..

" So you're Spanish but don't like hot sauce?"
"I'm not Spanish, I never been to Spain."

"Do you speak Spanish?"
"Not much, you would only really hear it if I was kicking you're ass, saving your ass or ordering Mexican food. I grew up talki'n regaler "Merican English."

"Then you are Mexican?"
""Nope, my time in Mexico can only be measured in hours, none of which were spent being born."

You must be Latino?"
"No, I'm terrified and fascinated with ancient Rome but I'm not Latin."

"So do you call yourself Hispanic?"
"I already told you I have nothing to do with Spain, I'm from Texas."

"Oh.. you are a...a.. Taquito?"
"Are you trying to say Tejano?"
"Yes Tejano, Like Selena the Tejano star."
" Correct, but I think The Tejano Star may have been the name of my high school newspaper, funny you know who Selena is."

"Texan huh? Did you have a horse?"
" I had a BMX bike and a surfboard (but if it makes you feel better I named them both Trigger).
"A surf board in Texas?wtf??"
"Yes Texas is situated next to a little thing we like to call...the ocean."
"Ha! Dingo surfs it up huh?"
" Ha yup, 20 years ago. I didn't say I was great at it but I did put my hours in doing dawn patrol."
"Wow, it's like I don't know you."
"We don't know each other, but it was nice talking to you."

Then we spent 10 min. in awkward silence until we came to my bus stop and I got off.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

picking my brain.

Ghost Pepper #17 good stuff

We got a care package from Shane and Amy Bugbee all the way from the Astoria of Oregon. Among the goodies (including zines, stickers and even some high end vanilla) was this hot sauce "Ghost Pepper #17".
 I don't like hot sauce but I love the Bugbees, so instead of waiting to use it for polishing pennies (yeah that's a thing) I decided to tuff up, make some damn tacos and try it out. It was so hot I could see tracers but it was also very good.
 The flavor had three tones the last one being the heat. It was like eating a lit cigarette and somehow enjoying it fully.
Now I'm hip to hot sauce...who woulda thunk it? 
Thanks S&A B! I'm still chomping down (I'm sure it will all come out alright in the end).