Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Went to Trade up music on Division street yesterday to replace our stolen mic stand.

Guess who was rocking my favorite O&D shirt? Chris Uchytil!! and he set us up with a sweet mic stand. 
He was waiting for kids to recognize us on his shirt so he could remove his shades and scare the bejeezus out of them with his bloody eyeball condition.
b.t.w. I spotted this nice guitar in the cheap bin if anyone needs a pretty good non electric gut-string.

meme sent to my Facebook page.

Sunday, February 22, 2015


For the last few months I have been writing a book. I don't mean it to be funny but I'm a ridiculous man informed by ridiculous life experiences. It's got it's default funny moments. Call it a text-ish book. It was of particular concern to me when I used the term "Flying buttresses" in an entirely not funny context. I'm into the accuracy enough that I don't feel like I lost a great opportunity to crack a fart joke.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

I almost mailed a coffee gift out of town.

 Then i remembered I would do better to send some water instead. Coffee isn't grown in the Pacific NW, clean water is. We have perfect weather and water for coffee enjoyment. People here are very willing to protect the local h2o at every turn. Anyone who doesn't think that is important is welcome to go other places where the coffee tastes like parking lot puddle water.

Monday, February 16, 2015


There has never been porn on my computer and the only game downloaded was Microsoft solitaire. I was enjoying bug free computing until I stupidly decided to download a font. Guess what happened, spam wham-o-rama. Pop ups on pop ups, ads scattered like pinata candy, blinking, flashing and taxing the system from a Samurai into a simpleton. A funny thing is, when you get sick you become an expert at your sickness, I just took it as a challenge. I did some research, found infected zones and dove into line after line deleting cryptic text in the registry. I learned a lot but still opted to reboot the whole system. It only took a scant 16 hours to fully return to No-malwareistan.

Earth day tabling

Rich was telling me a fascinating story about an event where the voluntary human extinction people were tabling across from a midwifery clinic's table. He mentioned being pleased that two groups who would seem to be opposites were actually friendly to one another and ended up sending folks to each other's tables. I hope I got that story right Rich Mackin. I love stuff like that.
"It was a collection of small businesses and non-profits tabling at an event. Imagine Operation Rescue tabling an event across from Planned Parenthood, or simply conservative Republicans across from Liberal Democrats."

I been monkeying with the ad-bots that look at my web browsing to base what ads to throw at me.

 I have them convinced that I'm a HUGE fan of square watermelons, peacock feathers and industrial axle grease. Now they keep trying to sell me this stuff... and it's a continuing punchline. Hope they don't think I plan to use them all in the same sitting (or any sitting actually).

Monday, February 09, 2015

kiosk life

Sometimes i feel like a kiosk. It's cute, it's clever, it's an honor, it's expected...but it's also kind of annoying sometimes.
When I walk around in clown drag i often forget how i look.
We only see past our nose so when going from point A to point B it's startling to be called as a representative of the city.
People assume I have a proprietary roll in an environment they find me in.
They also often assume I'm a volunteer goodwill emissary. LOL I like making a difference but sometimes I'm just on my way to work and need all that commute time to get me act together. I forget I look like I love answering questions.
 I often have to tell folks "Beats me, I don't work here".
 Kind of like how people feel they can come up to the police, bus drivers and other civic workers, they come to us too.
"Hey Clown" as it goes...
" Hey clown, would you-
... tell me where Belmont street is?
...tell me everything I want to know about you and nothing I don't want to know?
....recommend a place to get lunch?
....look at this mole for me?
I would love to help but last I checked Tiffiny Adamson is the only person I know with sufficient cred to call me by the objectifying moniker "clown".
Anyone else takes a huge chance (like an ox in a tar pit) of getting hilariously buried in bad information from me (can't say you didn't know I was a clown).

Tuesday, January 27, 2015


My friend several doors away is having drama. She came over bawling, Rootbeer made her some tea and i told her some great comeback lines for her fight...only I'm not confident that she is going follow my instructions to the letter. If she fumbles the meaning it could lose her the fight. She mumbles, I pontificate. Would it be rude to ask a stranger to listen on the phone while a clown injects some devastating arguments but only as an impartial, indifferent, non-combatant vessel for diction, timing, dramatic pause, gesticulation and context? I wish she had an ear piece.

Friday, January 23, 2015

It started out as a conversation about hot sauce.

We were talking about how I  turned a corner about hot sauce after trying my friend Shane's Ghost Pepper sauce..

" So you're Spanish but don't like hot sauce?"
"I'm not Spanish, I never been to Spain."

"Do you speak Spanish?"
"Not much, you would only really hear it if I was kicking you're ass, saving your ass or ordering Mexican food. I grew up talki'n regaler "Merican English."

"Then you are Mexican?"
""Nope, my time in Mexico can only be measured in hours, none of which were spent being born."

You must be Latino?"
"No, I'm terrified and fascinated with ancient Rome but I'm not Latin."

"So do you call yourself Hispanic?"
"I already told you I have nothing to do with Spain, I'm from Texas."

"Oh.. you are a...a.. Taquito?"
"Are you trying to say Tejano?"
"Yes Tejano, Like Selena the Tejano star."
" Correct, but I think The Tejano Star may have been the name of my high school newspaper, funny you know who Selena is."

"Texan huh? Did you have a horse?"
" I had a BMX bike and a surfboard (but if it makes you feel better I named them both Trigger).
"A surf board in Texas?wtf??"
"Yes Texas is situated next to a little thing we like to call...the ocean."
"Ha! Dingo surfs it up huh?"
" Ha yup, 20 years ago. I didn't say I was great at it but I did put my hours in doing dawn patrol."
"Wow, it's like I don't know you."
"We don't know each other, but it was nice talking to you."

Then we spent 10 min. in awkward silence until we came to my bus stop and I got off.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

picking my brain.

Ghost Pepper #17 good stuff

We got a care package from Shane and Amy Bugbee all the way from the Astoria of Oregon. Among the goodies (including zines, stickers and even some high end vanilla) was this hot sauce "Ghost Pepper #17".
 I don't like hot sauce but I love the Bugbees, so instead of waiting to use it for polishing pennies (yeah that's a thing) I decided to tuff up, make some damn tacos and try it out. It was so hot I could see tracers but it was also very good.
 The flavor had three tones the last one being the heat. It was like eating a lit cigarette and somehow enjoying it fully.
Now I'm hip to hot sauce...who woulda thunk it? 
Thanks S&A B! I'm still chomping down (I'm sure it will all come out alright in the end).

Sunday, January 18, 2015

wedding ride.

WestBORO Baptist Church Takes on PDX

 Olive and Dingo Reporting the "goings on" at Moda Center as the Blazers put on their sneakers to play the "Magics" apparently folks with more than "GO Trail Blazers!" signs started to swarm the premises! 
AND Here's what's up: When WBC decided to start picking on the LGBT community boy did they stir up a swarm of bees! First they had to deal with what Rich Mackin calls the "Who's who of Portland Trouble Makers" then had to deal with a huge pack of folks holding signs right where they (WBC) were about to try to reek havoc. This little band of haters went out of the frying pan, into the fire and then into another frying pan where Trail Blazers Fans started yelling "Go Blazers" as they do & a group of youngsters then started blaring unifying dance beats in the cold rain. And Darn it all: the Westboro Baptist Church folks couldn't take the heat. (too much fun) They literally ran away (total time spent protesting: 15 minutes). 

But thank you anyway WBC. You united a large group of loving, accepting humans of non-haters here in Portland who then got to dance & declare their own thoughts about LOVE. No one got punched or sued. It's a happy ending for all. Huzzah!

clown life

Tuesday, January 06, 2015

Go Team go!

We were talking about school mascots. My friend's school has one i think wins them all. No bulldog, no tiger, they chose killer algae, they are a red tide. They don't pounce, stomp, rock em or sock em, this teams plan is all about slowly, deliberately choking off all oxygen until everything is dead. I can appreciate school spirit set at biblical plague.

Monday, December 29, 2014

My boy opened a present to find a book on minecraft battle tactics.

My boy opened a present to find a book on minecraft battle tactics. Inside the book a strange rectangle object of mystery fell on the floor. "What is this?" he looked at it in the light with wonder."It's a bookmark" Olive told our space age kid who mostly reads screens."Hmm, good idea", he said as he put it in his backpack, opened his laptop, clicked open a new file, named it "Arcane 20th century reading equipment" typed a quick description of it's size and reported use, closed the file and then drag dropped the whole folder in the recycle bin. Closed laptop. And is now reading his book.

the Portland song

Saturday, December 27, 2014

Grampa Ed. played a really funny joke on me.

 I take a lightbulb burning out as a challenge to up my vision skills and lower my carbon footprint. When Grampa came to help us clean for the visiting dignitaries, he put bulbs in all the sockets. We went from a 5 bulb house to a 15! Someone turned the kitchen light on and from the other room I thought a fire broke out. I ran in freaking out to Ed laughing and rightfully looking at me like I was chicken Little. Thank you for the elbow grease Ed! And thanks for throwing my rods and cones a curve.

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Lyle's doc about us. :) To see this video click the blue button.

Olive & Dingo from Lyle Kopnicky on Vimeo.

avoid rage

I'm a tactical thinker and i see rage as impractical most of the time. 

Ya gotta have pride in your operations and find the wherewithal to know that an emotional response isn't playing to win. 

Say to yourself "Ha, I ain;t going down like that sucka". 
Let it go if you can't make a clever move. 

A lot of the time the situation self corrects.

 Ya gotta let it. 
At least take a moment to regroup to attack when the odds are in your favor. 

Rage evolved from fight or flight and if you are saving babies from tigers it can come in handy, 
if not, give em a pass.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

doin da dishez!

People say crazy stuff to me a lot

A guy on the street tells me, "Hey your the guy called Dingo right?" I agree.
 Then he say's
 "You look just like yourself!"
 That was an odd thing to say as well as an odd thing to hear.
I would like to thank my parents and a grant from ancestral DNA for making me possible today.

Monday, December 22, 2014

Olive made a soap sculpture that looks like pie.

 Our 8YO boy sez "Looks good enough to eat". She tells him "Don't do that, it's soap" He forgets and as soon as she is away he darts in and eats some. Then he freaks out...y'know... cuz he just ate soap. We start taking care of him "Are you ok little buddy?" and he sez "Yeah, there's a party in my mouth but everyone is throwing up".

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Wedlocks: Olive Rootbeer and Dingo Dizmal wedding, MORE pics pilfered from friends!

Olive and her new Texans.

My father in law, he looks thrilled. :)

olive's grandma, Raggedy Ann, aunt Rosie (as herself) and Grandmas twin Dorothy

Mah Mother in law!

The gal who introduced us. Lookin great M.B.

my best man Lisa Loving

my new father in law isn't so sad after all. :)